


Of Street Meat and Shenanigans

by your_fic_has_stopped_working



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV), Brooklyn Nine-Nine (TV)
Genre: Crossover, Everyone ships Fitzsimmons, F/M, Fluff, Gen, Getting Together, I'm updating this in my Latin class, Literally everyone - Freeform, Oh did I mention, SO MUCH FLUFF, There is no angst literally just fluff, sorry i'm rambling
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-08
Updated: 2020-11-08
Packaged: 2021-03-08 20:54:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,990
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27453070
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/your_fic_has_stopped_working/pseuds/your_fic_has_stopped_working
Summary: "Santiago, those young people are in love" - Raymond Holt, precinct captain, police officer and... Fitzsimmons shipper, apparently.Jake Peralta runs into (in)famous vigilante Daisy Johnson on a mission and, eventually, her team, including young scientists Jemma Simmons and Leopold Fitz. To the department's horror, the two scientists are 'just friends', but Holt knows better. Looks like their next mission is getting those oblivious idiots together.
Relationships: Leo Fitz/Jemma Simmons
Comments: 11
Kudos: 23





	1. Part One

**Author's Note:**

> By the way, this is after the AoS S2 finale, but with a few adjustments. For one, Jemma never told Fitz that they needed to talk about what happened under the sea, so they’re still just friends, and also she wasn’t eaten by a pebble with anger issues. For another, Bobbi still got shot, but she’s A-okay and back in action now. And also, they haven’t found out about the Inhuman fish oil thing yet. Apart from that, everything’s the same. And B99-wise, this is somewhere in S7, after Pimento returns and Peraltigo gets married. Anyways, enjoy!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> By the way, this is after the AoS S2 finale, but with a few adjustments. For one, Jemma never told Fitz that they needed to talk about what happened under the sea, so they’re still just friends, and also she wasn’t eaten by a pebble with anger issues. For another, Bobbi still got shot, but she’s A-okay and back in action now. And also, they haven’t found out about the Inhuman fish oil thing yet. Apart from that, everything’s the same. And B99-wise, this is somewhere in S7, after Pimento returns and Peraltigo gets married. Anyways, enjoy!

Jake Peralta ran through the deserted building, looking from left to right cautiously.

“What have we got, Jakey?” Boyle’s voice crackled from the radio.

“I haven’t found our dealer yet,” Jake said, “but Amy went ahead. She should find something before me.”

Right on cue, Amy tuned in. “The drugs are all here, but- wait, what?” She went silent.

“Amy? Are you okay?!” Jake shouted, running faster towards where he last saw her. He broke through a door, and saw his wife staring at the room before her.

She had been right, the drugs were all there... but so were the branch of dealers they’d been instructed to arrest. They were tied up and gagged with duct tape on the floor, some awake and some unconscious.

“Looks like someone else got here first,” Amy said, cursing. “Dammit, I was so looking forward to doing the paperwork for this case!”

“Who got where?” Boyle said, crashing into the room after hearing everything on the radio. “Ohhhh, I see.”

“Who did this, though?”

Suddenly, a voice came from a corner.

“Looking for me?”

The three yelled and jumped backwards, and a brown-haired woman came out of the dark corner, smiling.

“Sorry, that corner was really dark and I couldn’t help myself.”

Charles laughed, holding his hand up for a high-five. “Good one!”

“Who are you?” Amy asked, cocking her head.

“Oh, I’m Daisy. Daisy Johnson.”

Jake dropped his gun and Amy gasped.

“Daisy Johnson as in Quake?  _ The _ Quake?!” she said, a grin spreading across her face. “It is so good to meet you, I’m a big fan- like, a  _ huge _ fan.” She furrowed her brow, remembering something. “Wait - the collapsed warehouse on 59th street - wasn’t that you?” 

Daisy gulped, remembering  _ that  _ particular mission quite well. “Uh… maybe?”

Amy looked disapproving. “That incident took hours to clean up! Honestly, it’s almost irresponsible. But you’ve helped so many people, you’re like a superpowered Robin Hood, Lady Miss Quake Ma’am!” she gushed, completely changing her tune yet again.

Daisy looked at Jake, mounting  _ what?! _ but Jake just shrugged, stifling a laugh.

“So... why are you here?” he asked.

“Ah, right!” Daisy said. “Same reason as you, probably. This dealer is a nasty piece of work, and normally we wouldn’t deal with this kind of thing, but we have some time off.”

“‘We’? Who’s we?” Boyle asked, Terry nodding.

“Well, who are you?”

“NYPD, 99th precinct,” Jake stated proudly.

“Oh, the police! I’m SHIELD,” Daisy told them. “Wait, was I allowed to tell you that?”

“ _ The _ SHIELD? No way,” Amy squealed. “This is the best day of my life!”

Boyle handcuffed two of the dealers to each other, and straightened. “Guys, we should get back to the precinct. Rosa and Terry went into the north wing of the building, so let’s check if they’re okay when we get back. And, also; do you mind if I get your autograph?”

“Yeah, sure!” Daisy laughed. Wait, did you say north wing?” Charles nodded gleefully. “Oh, that’s where Bobbi and Hunter went. I should probably check on them, make sure they’re not snogging in a corner somewhere, or straight-up trying to murder each other. But no, they’ll be fine.”

_ “What!?” _

Bobbi and Hunter made their way through the upstairs corridor, shooting anyone who tried to stop them. They kicked open doors and checked any side alleys, nooks, or crannies for possible dealers. But before they could find the storage room for the drugs they’d been told to source, two more individuals wearing NYPD vests and helmets that obscured their faces came out of a side passage and hurried alongside them.

“Are you part of this organisation?” one of them, a woman with a faint accent, asked as they went.

“No! Are you?” Bobbi questioned.

“We’re the police!” the tall man said.

“We’re SHIELD!” Hunter returned. “Now what do you say we go bust some drug dealers?”

“You read my mind, babe!” Bobbi said, grinning.

The two police officers exchanged a look, shrugged, and turned to them.

“Alright! We’re in, let’s go,” the man said.

They came round the corner to a giant steel door, attached to a wheel to open it. The four stopped and examined it, trying to find a way to open it, as this was surely where the good stuff was.

The female police officer flipped up her helmet and the male followed suit. “Could we try to shoot it open?” she said, gesturing to the door. Now that they had stopped going - and the helmets were gone - Bobbi could take in the appearances of their companions. The woman had curly dark hair, red lipstick, and a serious expression. The man could rival Mack in terms of height and muscle, and he was smiling slightly awkwardly.

Hunter was speaking. “I don’t think that’ll work, this looks bulletproof.”

“But simple; all we need to do to open it is twist the wheel, I think!” the man said, bending slightly and turning it.

It moved with a resounding  _ creak _ and everyone there covered their ears. But sure enough, the door opened.

“This is ridiculous,” Hunter complained, “why have a bulletproof door with no lock?”

Bobbi shrugged. “Budget cuts?”

The woman pushed the doors open, confirming their suspicions that this group were hiding drugs. “I’m Rosa, by the way. And this yoghurt-loving idiot is Terry.”

“Terry loves yoghurt,” the man confirmed, nodding.

“I’m Bobbi, Bobbi Morse. And this is my ridiculous ex-husband, Hunter.”

“‘Ridiculous’?!” Hunter whined. Rosa smiled at Bobbi approvingly, and Terry looked like he’d seen a ghost.

“Did- Rosa, did you just smile?!”

Rosa immediately schooled her expression into the neutral, bored one she normally wore. “No,” she said expressionlessly.

Terry shrugged, letting it go lest Rosa find him in his sleep and cut his balls off. “Alright then. Let’s go grab some drugs.”

Daisy, Jake, Amy and Boyle were heading down the north wing corridor when they spotted the other four field agents and police officers.

“Oh, hey guys!” Daisy chirped merrily, waving.

“We found the drugs,” Terry said, stating the obvious as all four of them had their arms laden with illegal substances.

“Yeah, we can see that,” Jake said, impressed.

“We didn’t run into any dealers, though,” Bobbi said. “I wonder why?”

“Oh, that would be us,” Jake boasted. “We came in and they were all spread out, but I was totally like John McClane - you know, from Die Hard! - and I managed to grab one of them, and I pointed my gun at his head and yelled “take me to your leader!” and he was all like “aaah no, please spare me! He’s over there!” and I was like-”

The SHIELD agents, except Daisy, were watching in stunned silence, but the policemen and woman were rolling their eyes.

“What my husband  _ means, _ ” Amy cut in, “is that Quake -  _ Quake! - _ here had already tied up the dealers by the time we’d gotten here, and all we had to do was put them in the van.”

“But it sounds way less cool that way!” Jake complained. Amy laughed.

“Wait,  _ you’re _ Quake?” Terry asked, looking at Daisy, who held her hands up.

“Guilty!”

“That’s so cool! Could you do something on camera? For my girls,” he explained. “They’re big fans of yours.”

“Aw, you have children! What are their names?”

“There’s the twins, Cagney and Lacey, and then their younger sister Ava.”

“Guys? Maybe this isn’t the best place to be talking about this,” Bobbi said. “We should go to your precinct with you, make sure everything turns out smoothly, and then get going.”

“Can’t we stay for a little longer?” Daisy asked, giving Bobbi puppy eyes. “I bet Coulson would love to meet all of them, and they’re all really nice!”

“Pleeeease stay?” Boyle said. “I love making new friends, and I could show them the best pie stores in Brooklyn- no, the world! Pretty please!”

“I do like pie,” Hunter affirmed.

“And I’d adore a chance to get to know Quake, I’m a huge fan!” Amy gushed.

“Do you guys like Die Hard?” Jake asked.

Bobbi’s resolve crumbled. “Fine. I’ll radio ahead to Coulson; if he says we can stay for a while, we can stay for a while.”

“Yay!” cheered everyone except Rosa and Bobbi, who stood there staring at the others.

“Oh my god, they’re actual five-year-olds,” Bobbi groaned.

“Tell me about it,” Rosa said.

The group drove to the precinct and got out the car, putting the drug dealers and drugs downstairs for the others to deal - ‘deal’, haha - with. The nine of them were too big to fit into the elevator, so it was decided that the police officers would go first, to tell the others about SHIELD.

Even with only Jake, Amy, Charles, Terry and Rosa in the elevator, it was quite a tight fit, so they were all glad they’d told the others to come up after them.

They stepped out of the elevator to cheers and applause, and Jake bowed gratefully.

“Thank you, thank you all,” he said, smiling jokingly. “Now, if you’ll excuse us, we need to go talk to Captain Holt. I’m sure he’d love to hear about how we bravely vanquished the drug dealers, also known as the sly smokers,” he grinned, winking. Amy rolled her eyes, endeared.

“Where is Holt, anyway?” Rosa asked.

“Oh, he’s in his office,” Scully said, with his mouth full from a jumbo packet of crisps.

“Yeah, another guy’s in there too,” Hitchcock added, unwrapping a hot dog from its cling film. “He said something about waiting for his team?”

“He also brought a few people in there,” Gina said, not looking up from her phone. “There was some Asian lady, a Scottish guy and an English girl who didn’t stop talking, and-“ She looked up, phone forgotten, looking like she was about to tell them the best news they’d ever receive. “And, a hot piece of man-pie. Seriously, he’s so beautiful, I might have to let him guest-star on Linetti, Set, Go every Tuesday evening.”

“I thought you said that about Terry?” Boyle asked.

Gina laughed. “Oh, Boyle. Terry’s old news, now. This new guy is  _ it  _ for me. He’s so  _ muscly... _ ” She trailed away, lost in some fantasy, and Amy shuddered.

They heard a sniffle from behind them and all four turned to look at Terry, who looked close to tears.

“Terry. What’s wrong?” Rosa asked.

“I’m sorry,” Terry said, waving a hand. “I just get so emotional when I see character development!” He descended into full-on sobs, and Boyle crossed over and patted him on the back.

“There, there, Terry.” he said soothingly, completely missing the weirded-out looks Jake, Amy and Rosa were giving him.

Suddenly, the elevator dinged and Daisy, Bobbi and Hunter came tumbling out.

“Who are you?” Hitchcock asked, biting into the hot dog.

“Oh, we’re SHIELD,” Bobbi introduced. “We helped a bit with the case.”

“And they’re staying here for a bit!” Jake said triumphantly.

“Shield, huh?” Gina asked, standing up and coming closer to the three. “Do you, like, need a new recruit? Because Gina Linetti is so talented, so amazing, that she can do-” she paused for dramatic effect-  _ “everything.” _

“Who’s Gina Linetti?” Daisy asked, confused.

“That’s me, silly. Keep up,” Gina said with a flip of her hair.

“Oh. O-okay,” Daisy said, confusedly.

“She’s always like that. You get used to it,” Rosa whispered to them.

They all looked up as Holt came out of his office and stood in the centre of the room.

“Welcome back, everyone. I’m glad to see the drug bust went well, I would like the paperwork on my desk at the end of the day.”

“Yes!” Amy whispered. Holt gave her a look and she apologised hurriedly.

“As I’m sure you’ve all noticed by now, we have some guests in my office,” Holt continued without any preamble. “And- wait. Who are you?”

He’d clearly just noticed the three SHIELD agents, who awkwardly shuffled to the front. Daisy waved.

“We’re SHIELD agents, hello!” she said awkwardly. “We sort of helped with the case a bit?”

“Daisy!” Coulson exclaimed, coming out of Holt’s office for the first time. “I see you three have met Captain Holt. We knew each other back in the day, he was one of the officers helping clear up the Captain Marvel case.”

“Wait, sir. You met Captain Marvel?!” Simmons said, coming out of the office and dragging Fitz along. “How have you never told us this, that’s so amazing! Do you have pictures?”

May came out and nodded at everyone. Her gaze fell on Rosa and she stopped and raised an eyebrow.

“Hi,” Mack said, trailing behind them. “Sorry, we haven’t introduced ourselves. I’m Mack, and this is Agent May and Director Coulson. I see you’ve already met Bobbi, Hunter and Daisy. And this here is Fitzsimmons.”

“I’m Fitz,”

“And I’m Simmons!” The respective scientists smiled.

“Woah,” Amy breathed. “An actual, entire, complete SHIELD team! This is so cool.”

“And this is my precinct,” Holt introduced. “That over there is Jake, Amy, Boyle, Rosa and Terry. Then there’s Scully, Hitchcock and Gina.”

“The  _ great _ Gina Linetti,” Gina smiled gracefully. “And you, sir, must be Mack.”

“Yes, um, that’s what I said?” Mack asked, confused.

“I know. The great Gina Linetti knows all,” she said. “Now come, my love.”

“Your- What?”

“We must depart this place. I’m taking you to my dance class, the ladies are gonna _ love  _ you.You know, they’re never going to let you escape!” She took his hand, dragging him out of the room and into the elevator. Poor Mack was left looking very confused, and before he was dragged away, he mouthed  _ help! _ to the others. The elevator doors shut, sealing his fate.

Jake looked around. “Wait, where’s Pimento?”

“Is that a type of vodka?” Hunter asked. “Because if so, count me in.” Bobbi slapped him on the shoulder.

“No, he’s another officer,” Amy said. “He should be here, actually.”

“Meanwhile,” Coulson said, “Holt and I are going to go into his office and catch up. You guys can get to know each other!” The Captain and the Director walked into the office and shut the door behind them.

May walked up to Rosa.

“I’m Melinda May,” she said.

“Rosa Diaz.”

“Nice to meet you.”

“Yeah, same here.”

In perfect unison, the two women turned around and went into the waiting room, shutting the door behind them.

“Oh God, there’s two of them,” Fitz muttered.

Suddenly, the elevator doors opened with a  _ ding, _ and out stepped one Adrian Pimento.

“Hey guys, I’m back! Do you wanna get street meat?”

“Where were you, Pimento?” Boyle asked.

“I was doing surveillance,” he hissed, looking around cautiously. “One thing I learned from being deep undercover is that you can never be too careful. These SHIELD agents might as well paint a target on our backs just by being here, but thankfully it’s all clear.”

Fitz and Simmons exchanged a look.

“You were undercover?” Simmons asked.

Pimento nodded. “Twelve years, in the underground Mafia. I’ve never been the same since.”

Simmons looked sympathetic. “I was undercover for six months once, and it was awful. I can’t imagine doing it for twelve years!”

“Trust me, Lady, you don’t want to,” Pimento growled, looking weary.

“Sorry- who are you?” Hunter asked.

“Paul Sneed.”

“You mean, Adrian Pimento,” Terry reminded, then turned to the SHIELD agents. “That was his undercover name, and he’s sort of- gotten used to it?”

“Oh,” Fitz said, not really knowing what else to say.

“Why did you want to know my name?” Pimento asked, going up close to Hunter. “Are you one of  _ them, _ come to hunt me down and torture me for information? Because let me tell you now, I’ve been tortured in ways you can’t imagine. I’ve had my toenails ripped out one by one, I’ve been locked up in dark rooms with no food for weeks, I’ve had someone try to cut off my b-“

“Aaaaah, okay okay okay!” Fitz yelled over Pimento, not wanting him to finish his sentence.

Hunter leaned back from Pimento. “No, mate, I was just wondering who you are! And anyway, what do you mean I can’t imagine your torture?”

“Dammit, Hunter, don’t antagonise him!” Bobbi groaned under her breath.

“Mate, I’m a SHIELD agent,” Hunter challenged. “You say you’ve seen torture, but have you ever seen your best friends, your family be shot down around you? Have you ever been betrayed by people you thought you were close to, only to discover that they were lying, backstabbing pricks? You say you’ve been tortured, but we can handle torture. What we can’t handle is seeing the people we love-“ he looked at Bobbi, who was tearing up- “being hurt. Because trust me, mate, it’s worse than anything that can happen to you.”

The group stood in silence, shocked. Jake had thought being a spy was like in Die Hard or James Bond, but if this was the reality, it wasn’t nearly as glamorous as Hollywood portrayed.

Suddenly, Pimento laughed. “Okay, okay,” he said, clapping Hunter on the back, “you win. I’m sorry. D’you wanna go and grab some street meat?”

Hunter shrugged, laid-back demeanour returning. “Sure, mate, why not?”

“Awesome!” Pimento cheered, pressing the elevator button. “I know this great place on 59th street, the kebabs are  _ amazing. _ ”

“Do they sell beer?”

“Who do you take me for, of course they sell beer!”

The doors slid shut once again.

“I’m... not entirely sure what just happened,” Boyle said.

“You and me both,” Simmons said.

Terry turned to Daisy. “I’m going to go start on the files for the mission - sorry, Santiago - do you mind signing something for my girls?”

“Of course not!” Daisy said. She then turned to FitzSimmons, and mouthed:  _ he wants my autograph! _ Simmons smiled and Fitz gave her the thumbs up, and she waved as she crossed over to his desk.

Suddenly, there was a spluttering from Terry’s laptop, as smoke began to rise up from it, making Terry cough and Daisy step back in amazement.

“Oh my god, what have you done?” she asked incredulously.

“Scully! Hitchcock!” Terry called from across the room. “Did you spill orange juice on my laptop again? Come on, man, I thought we had a strict eat-at-your-own-desks-rule! Now what do I do?!”

“Oh, not those guys! They’re such a pain in the ass,” Terry complained.

“Sorry, Terry,” Scully called, spraying crisp crumbs from his mouth. “It’s just your chair is so comfortable!”

“Yeah,” Hitchcock backed him up, “it’s got the perfect ratio of bounciness to softness to ease of spin!”

Terry groaned and held his head in his hands. “Well, now I can’t work! How am I supposed to get all of this done?”

“Um, I could help you,” Daisy offered.

Terry spun around. “Really? You could help?” he asked, half-skeptically, half-hopefully.

“Well, yeah! You know, before I was even in SHIELD, I was a hacker for a group called the Rising Tide.” Daisy laughed. “The point is, I have a decent knowledge of computers. I’m no Fitz, but I’d be happy to help!”

“Well, Terry does love help,” he said. “Thank you so much.”

“No worries,” she said, bending over and starting to fix the laptop.

Bobbi smirked. “Well, I’m going to go talk to May and Rosa. See you in a bit,” she said, striding over to the waiting room.

Boyle ran over to her and grabbed her arm, effectively dragging her back.

“Woah, woah, woah,” he said, as Bobbi turned to look at him, confused. “You can’t go in there!” he hissed, looking around worriedly. “They’ll tear you to pieces with just a look! How would you feel never being able to eat pie again?”

Bobbi was trying not to laugh. “I prefer pizza, myself.”

“Ooh, really? I know a great place, it’s got the best crust you’ll ever eat,” Boyle perked up, momentarily distracted. He got back to the point. “But still, you might as well walk into the lion’s den! Do you want to be eaten?!”

Bobbi smiled. “Don’t worry. Trust me, I’ll be fine.”

She walked into the waiting room with May and Rosa, and shut the door behind her. Boyle flinched and Jake winced, but she appeared to be... smiling? And  _ laughing?! _

“Wow,” Amy said. “I think I just found my new hero.”

And then there were five. Fitzsimmons, Jake, Boyle, and Amy were left in the middle of the precinct, everyone else having paired up with someone.

Simmons smiled at Jake and Amy.

“So how long have you two been married?”

“About... two years, now!” Jake said, smiling at his wife.

“Well, what about you? How long have you two been together?” Amy asked.

Fitzsimmons looked at each other, and then back at Amy.

“Oh, we’re not dating, we’re only-“

“He’s only my friend- my best friend, but still-“

They spoke at the same time.

“What!” Boyle said, aghast. “How are you not married?! You need to, so that you can be happy and have little science babies!”

“Dude, what the hell?” Jake whispered to his best friend.

“Oh, um, no, we’re not together.” Simmons said. “And we’re definitely not having children, what?”

They heard a gasp from Holt’s office and turned to see the Captain himself staring at them incredulously. When he noticed their stares, he shut his mouth and called,

“Peralta, Santiago, Boyle. My office. Now.”

The aforementioned looked at Fitzsimmons, who shrugged.

“Go! It’s probably important,” Fitz said.

The police officers looked at each other, and Jake led the way to the office.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!


	2. Part Two

“So, what did you need us for, Captain?” Amy asked.

They were all crammed into the office: Coulson, Amy, Jake, Boyle and of course Holt, so it was quite a tight fit, but they managed. There was also Daisy, who had finished fixing Terry’s computer and wanted to know what was happening.

Holt didn’t respond. He was staring out of the window at Fitzsimmons, and appeared to be distracted.

“Captain?” Amy prompted, which made him look at them again.

“Santiago, those two young people are in love,” Holt said.

“Fitzsimmons? In love?” Coulson said. “I hate to burst your bubble, but both of them have told me on multiple occasions that they’re just friends.”

“But look at them,” Holt said. “They’re so intimate, so caring. It reminds me of myself and my husband, Kevin, when we were younger.”

The group looked out the window at Fitzsimmons. Simmons was laughing prettily at something Fitz had said, and the Scot reached up and tucked a flyaway piece of hair behind her ear. Jemma blushed slightly, but then opened her mouth and carried on the conversation.

In perfect sync, Jake, Amy and Charles looked at Holt.

“Yep, they’re in love,” Jake said.

“It’s almost embarrassingly obvious,” Amy added.

“It reminds me of me and Guinevere!” Boyle exclaimed.

Daisy shot up from her seat. “Thank you!” she exclaimed. “I’ve been wanting those two to get together from almost day one, I knew there was something there!”

“But how to do it, that’s the problem,” Holt said.

“Raymond, wait!” Coulson said. “You can’t seriously be trying to set two of my agents up.”

“Why not?” Holt asked seriously. “Can’t you see how messed-up I am right now? I’m practically hysterical just thinking about it.”

Jake looked at Holt, who he looked the same as he always did.

“You’re right, Raymond, you do look pretty worked-up about this,” Coulson said sincerely.

_ What?! _ Boyle mouthed to Amy, who shrugged.

“Alright then, I propose a mission,” Daisy said.

“Yes!” Jake exclaimed, punching the air. “We can be like proper spies! Ooh, I know, we should have code names!”

“Yes!” Boyle exclaimed, giving Jake a high-five.

“No, Jake, we aren’t having codenames,” Amy groaned.

“Call me Agent!” he ploughed on.

“Do not call him Agent,” Holt said.

“Aww, why not?!” Jake complained.

“Because you’re only a detective!” Amy said.

Jake ignored her. “Alright, then, I think I’ll be... SSSD!”

“What does that stand for?” Daisy asked, trying not to laugh.

“Super secret spy dude, duh!” Jake grinned.

“Jake, no!” Amy groaned.

“And I’ll be... SSS! Super Secret Sidekick!” Boyle said.

“Awesome, dude!” Jake said. They high-fived again, oblivious to Coulson and Holt watching them incredulously.

“So, what’s the mission?” Jake asked Daisy.

“Well, we need to set Fitzsimmons up on a date. They’ll discover their love for each other, probably kiss a bit?”

“And have kids!” Boyle exclaimed.

“No!” Daisy said.

“I like this plan, Agent Johnson,” Holt said. “We should do it. Is everybody in?”

“I’m in!” Jake said immediately.

“Me too!” Boyle exclaimed.

“Of course,” Daisy said.

“Sure, why not?” Amy asked.

Everyone’s eyes swivelled to Coulson, who looked conflicted. But finally, he relented with a sigh.

“Fine,” he said. “I’ll help.”

Everybody cheered, and with that, Operation Fitzsimmons was a go.

“Alright, it’s time for stage one of the plan,” Jake whispered into his radio. “Coulson, you’re up!”

Coulson came out of his office, and called over to Fitzsimmons.

“Guys, do you mind helping me with something? I think Captain Holt’s clock is broken.”

Fitzsimmons looked at each other and shrugged, crossing over to the office.

Daisy crouched down under Holt’s desk and quickly cut a wire in the clock that would easily be replaced, and then straightened up and awkwardly walked out of the room. She passed Fitzsimmons, who gave her a slightly strange look, and she smiled nervously. But the second the Brits were inside, she slammed the door behind them and locked it.

“Haha, we did it! Now they’ll be forced to bond, and hopefully even confess their love!” Jake said triumphantly.

“Uh... Jake...” Amy said, looking at the office.

Through the window, they could see Fitz get a small device out of his pocket and clamp it against the door. There was a whirring noise, and the lock clicked open, allowing them to escape.

“Sorry guys, but we haven’t got the right wires for the clock!” Simmons called. “You’ll have to get it fixed at a shop where they have the supplies.”

“Dammit,” Holt and Daisy cursed in perfect unison.

“Don’t worry guys, there’s always Plan B!” Boyle said into his radio, cheerily.

“You’re right. We can’t let this drag us down,” Amy said confidently.

“Well, what do we need for this plan?” Coulson asked.

Daisy and Jake looked at each other. “Uhhhh...”

“You need my help?” Gina asked over the phone, smugly smiling. “Well of course, I guess I could take some time out of my  _ vital _ dance practice to assist you in your quest.”

“Thank you so much, you won’t regret this!” Jake said gratefully.

“Hey, Mackie!” he heard Gina call.

“That’s not my name!” Mack said, faintly to Jake’s ears.

“Okay, Mackie. Well, we need to go now-“

“Oh, thank god-“

“So just say goodbye to the ladies!”

“Um... bye?”

“We’ll be there in ten,” Gina said, disconnecting the call.

“The Queen is back,” Gina said, sauntering through the doors. Mack followed behind her, looking like hell.

“Mack, are you okay?” Daisy asked, concerned.

“I have seen... terrible things...” he said faintly, staring off into the distance.

“So, you need my help with getting those two impressionable young scientists together?” Gina asked, later in the office

“Um... yes,” Holt said. “Do you have any ideas?”

“Oh, honey. I will  _ bamboozle _ them into dating with my sheer charm, personality, and stunning good looks.”

At the back of the room, Mack erupted into a large coughing fit, and everyone looked at him, concerned.

“Sorry, sorry,” he said, waving a hand.

“So, what you’re saying is... you’re going to confuse them into dating?” Daisy asked.

“Exactly,” Gina said. “Now, watch and learn.”

“So! Do you love anything, Fitz?” Gina asked, sitting down on the desk he was working at.

“Wh-what?” Fitz said, looking up.

“I love many things, most of all myself.” Gina said. “I also love dance, the presidential run I’ll soon be winning, and mirrors.”

“Oh. Okay,” Fitz said.

“What do you love?” Gina asked.

“Um, I suppose I like computers-“

“Oh! My favourite thing about computers is they can be used to view my late-night talk show, Linetti Set Go,” Gina said seriously.

_ What?! _ Jake mouthed to Mack, who put his head in his hands.

“She was like this for the entire afternoon,” he said dully.

“Ooh, you have a talk show?” Simmons asked, coming over to them.

“I will, in the near future,” Gina said. “And before you ask, no, you can’t be on it.”

“Oh, I wasn’t going to-“

“I only accept the greats. Michelle Obama, Oprah, Reese Witherspoon, Grumpy Cat...”

“Sounds... lovely?” Simmons said, though it sounded more like a question.

Daisy sighed. “Guys, this is never going to work. Time for plan C.”

“So, what’s plan C?” Amy asked, back in the office yet again.

“Food! Everyone loves a romantic dinner, right?” Daisy asked.

Holt shrugged, “I guess.”

“Excuse me,” Charles said, bounding into the middle of the room. “But if you need food, I am your man! Do you want Italian? Chinese? No, no, no. They’re British, right?”

“Yeah, Fitz is Scottish and Simmons is English,” Coulson said.

“Then let’s buy them food that reminds them of home. Fish and chips!” Boyle smiled triumphantly.

“Um... is fish and chips really the most romantic option?” Amy asked skeptically.

“Oh, Amy. It isn’t about  _ romance _ -” 

“Yes it is?” Mack said.

-“It’s about what it  _ means _ to them.” Charles said. “And fish and chips can spark beautiful, reminiscent memories, which will make them entirely more susceptible to romance!”

Daisy shrugged. “Alright then, I’ll call ahead in a bit and get some fish and chips. How do we get them to eat it alone?”

“We could use the roof?” Jake offered.

“The roof?”

“Yeah! There’s a door at the side of the room with stairs leading up to the roof, we could set up chairs and a table there! It won’t rain today, and if we leave them alone there, they’ll definitely get together. Give me five!”

He held out his hand to Holt, who ignored it.

“No? Okay,” Jake muttered, awkwardly putting his hand by his side.

“Sounds good,” Coulson said. Despite his initial claims of ‘unprofessionalism’ and ‘irresponsibility’, the Director was now incredibly invested in the mission, and was probably going to be the most disappointed - apart from Daisy and Holt - if this didn’t work. “Daisy, you can order the fish and chips now; get enough for two-“

“We’re baaaack!” Hunter yelled, coming out the elevator with Pimento and arms laden with plastic bags.

“And we brought food for all of you guys!” Pimento said, grinning. “Hope you like street meat!”

“Ooh, great, I was starving,” Fitz said, crossing over and grabbing one of the bags.

“Hey, Simmons, do you want me to plate you up some?” he said, looking back and smiling at her.

“Aw, thank you, Fitz!”

“Hey guys, you hungry?” Pimento said, noticing the eight crammed into Holt’s office.

“Damn it,” Boyle whispered. “They went to the good place on 59th; I really want some.”

“We might as well, we won't be able to get fish and chips if Fitzsimmons have already eaten,” Holt said. “But I feel close to tears, I’m sorry that you had to see me like this.”

Amy looked at Holt, who looked the same as he always did.

“Yeah, we might as well get some food,” she said. “Holt, I know you can’t eat street meat; I’ll get my sandwich out for you.”

“Thank you, Detective Santiago,” Holt said, surprised and grateful.

“Hey, do you guys have enough left for me?” Daisy yelled, exiting the office and talking to Hunter and Pimento.

“Sure! D’you want a kebab?” Pimento offered.

“We also have beer! Lots of beer,” Hunter added.

“Where did you guys get the money?” Coulson asked suspiciously.

“We didn’t steal it!” Pimento hurried to reassure him. “I had an old contact as Paul Sneed, who was, like,  _ millionaire _ rich. Then he died, and I found his safe.”

“Isn’t that still stealing?” Simmons asked, concerned.

“No,” Hunter and Pimento said in perfect unison.

“All right then,” Mack said, throwing a bag to Hitchcock and Scully, and biting into a kebab.

“They’re useless,” May groaned.

“Absolutely hopeless,” Rosa sympathised.

“How do they ever get anything done?” Bobbi said, rubbing a hand over her face.

“We’re going to have to help.”

“Oh, absolutely. There’s no way Fitzsimmons are ever going to get together in a million years if we don’t.”

“So, we all know what we need to do?”

After everybody had finished eating, even Hitchcock and Scully, Operation Fitzsimmons (plus Mack, Hunter, Gina and Pimento) reconvened in Holt’s office, which was starting to feel quite cramped.

“So, we need a Plan D,” Daisy said. “Any ideas?”

“Um...” Jake trailed off. The group was at a loss, and had exhausted their supply of brain cells.

Luckily, before they could give up and declare the operation a failure, the elevator doors dinged once again and Bobbi, May and Rosa came out, smiling like Cheshire cats.

“Did you notice them leave?” Boyle whispered to Pimento, who shook his head.

“Fitzsimmons,” Bobbi said, “can you do me a favour?”

“Sure, what is it?” Fitz asked, looking up.

“There’s been reports of a crate of various pieces of Stark technology being abandoned in a warehouse, can you go and investigate?”

“Stark technology?” Simmons asked, her interest piqued.

Bobbi nodded. “And I reckon if you find it and it’s in a bad condition, you can keep it and use the parts for things, if you want!”

Fitz and Simmons looked at each other, and then back at Bobbi.

“We’re in.”

“Hang on,” Coulson said, having heard everything through the open door, “shouldn’t you be asking me-”

He was silenced by a (threatening) look from Rosa.

“Never mind.”

“Do you have the address?” Fitz asked.

“I’ve texted it to you, you should get it now,” Bobbi said. Sure enough, Fitz’s pocket dinged and he pulled his phone out.

“Oh, I know where that is,” he said. “It’s quite close, come on Simmons; let’s go!”

“We’ll see all you guys in a bit!” Simmons said excitedly, waving. “Have fun!”

“Bobbi, what are you doing?” Daisy groaned, after Fitzsimmons had left. “We need them here, or we’re never going to get them together!”

“You’re never going to get them together anyway,” May said. “Your attempts were well-intentioned, but absolutely useless.”

“So we decided to do it ourselves,” said Rosa. “You got a problem with that?”

Everyone shook their heads thoroughly.

“Great, didn’t think so.”

“So, you guys have a plan?” Holt asked.

“Yeah! We got in a few favours, made a few calls... by the end of the day, those two will be together, you’ll see,” Bobbi boasted confidently. “Just leave it all to us.”


	3. Part Three

“This is it,” Fitz said, looking up from his phone to the small warehouse in front of him, squeezed on a busy street between a dry cleaners and an Indian takeaway. “It looks quite well-done up, for somewhere used to dump used tech.”

“This is definitely the address, though, so I guess appearances are misleading,” Simmons said. “Come on, let’s go in.”

“What kind of tech do you reckon they'll have?” Fitz thought out loud.

“Hmm… well, I’m hoping there’s some sort of arc reactor component, maybe some hydraulics,” Jemma chattered as they pushed open the door, looking at Fitz. “But honestly, if Stark Tech threw it away, it’s likely to be some old prototypes that didn’t work, maybe some phones that are laggy, that sort of - what?”

For Fitz was prodding her in the side, staring with an open mouth at the room before them.

Soft music was playing softly in the cool, dark room. Candles were scattered around the room, and in the centre was a small round table with two seats. The tablecloth was white and lacy, and there was a single rose in a vase in the centre. Resting on the vase was a single card, reading:

_Sit down, and enjoy._

_\- MM, BM and RD_

“What’s going on?” Fitz asked. “This definitely isn’t a crate of old phones.”

“We should probably sit down,” Simmons said, doing just that. Fitz looked slightly suspicious for a moment, but eventually shrugged and sat opposite her.

“I’m confused, though,” Simmons said. “Candles, guitar music, roses; wouldn’t these things normally be used for a… oh. A date,” she blushed, finally realising.

“Ah.” Fitz said, gulping slightly.

A silence settled over the two. Finally, he looked up.

“Do you want it to be?” he asked nervously, in almost a whisper. “A date?”

“Oh! Um…” Simmons looked down at the tablecloth, fiddling. Then she seemed to come to a decision, and looked back up.

“I do. If you want it to be,” she said.

Fitz smiled. “Yeah. Yeah, I do, Jemma.”

She blushed, a wide smile spreading over her face. Then she laughed.

“I can’t believe it took Bobbi, May and Rosa setting us up like this for us to finally go out!”

He chuckled too. “God, I know. We’ll have to do everything they want for the next _year_ to thank them.”

She smiled, chuckling softly. And then, “Fitz, can I kiss you?”

“W-what?” he asked, caught off-guard by the question.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t know if I was moving too fast,” Jemma apologised. “It’s just, I’ve liked you like _this_ for a while, and I think this has been a long time coming. You’re my best friend, my partner in crime, my favourite person. The one I look forward to seeing every morning with a smile on my face, even if I don’t know it. So - if you want to - can I kiss you?”

“Y-yes, of course!” Fitz said, smiling goofily.

Back in the precinct, Daisy squealed and clamped her hands over her mouth as everyone - the SHIELD agents and the police officers - burst into cheers. They were watching through the security camera in the ‘date room’, and were all gathered round the TV in the debriefing room.

“Yes! I always knew old Fitzy would get it eventually!” Hunter cheered.

“This is so amazing!” Jake said, grinning as the on-screen Fitzsimmons gently kissed. Next to him, Amy was tearing up, hands over her mouth.

“I’ve never been prouder than in this moment,” Holt proclaimed. “This is the closest to tears I’ve been in years.”

Mack looked at Holt, who looked the same as he always did.

Gina had actually looked up from her phone and was smiling. “Of course, you couldn’t have done it all without moi! That’s French, by the way.”

May, Rosa and Bobbi were all standing together in a line, arms folded and smiling smugly. Terry was sobbing softly.

“Dude, are you okay?” Boyle asked, concerned.

“Oh, I’m fine,” Terry said, waving him off. “It’s just, Terry loves happy endings.”

Pimento grinned. “You know, when I was undercover, there was a story a lot like this. Only the warehouse was actually tagged, and they were being sent to their deaths!”

Mack looked at him, confused. “What?”

“Actually, on second thought, that was nothing like this.”

Hitchcock and Scully had brought popcorn to the event, and clinked their boxes like champagne glasses.

And Coulson was standing there, smiling like a proud dad- which, in a way, he was.

“Well done, Agents.”

Jake gasped, pointing to himself. “Did you just call me…?!”

Coulson nodded, smiling. “You did a great job - _Agents._ I’m proud of you all.”

Jake smiled, and another wave of cheering erupted.

And, lost in their own world, Fitzsimmons kissed again and again.

THREE MONTHS LATER

“Guys, we’re back!” Bobbi proclaimed loudly, the SHIELD agents rushing out of the cramped elevator to greet their old friends. The police officers grinned, giving them a round of applause.

“It’s good to see you again, Agents,” Holt said, doing the nearest thing to a smile his body was capable of making. “I hope everyone’s well?”

“Have you watched Die Hard yet?” Jake asked eagerly. 

“Do you want to go get pie?” Boyle called.

“Or beer!” Pimento added.

“Can you tell me your opinion on my latest two hundred and eighteen selfies?” Gina asked. “I know they’re all perfect, but it would be kind to make you all feel wanted.”

“Done anything dangerous lately?” Rosa asked.

“Or fun! Like paperwork,” Amy added.

“Woah, hold on!” Mack laughed. “It’s good to see you too.”

“Wait,” Terry called, noticing an absence in their group. “Where are Fitzsimmons?”

Coulson laughed. “Oh, they’re just coming,” he said, motioning to and moving away from the closed elevator doors. They opened with a  _ ping  _ and revealed a smiling, happy Fitzsimmons, who waved at everyone.

“Guys! How are you?” Fitz asked.

“We’re good; the more important question is, how are  _ you?  _ We need details!” Jake exclaimed. 

“Have you had kids yet?”

“Boyle,  _ no. _ ”

Simmons laughed. “We’re going really well, actually. Thanks for asking!”

Rosa half-smiled, which would be a giant grin on just about anyone else.

“Wait, who are you?” Terry asked, noticing another man who was standing awkwardly off to the side.

“Oh, this is Lincoln!” Daisy introduced. “He’s a good friend of ours, and I wanted him to meet you all.”

“Yeah, uh, hi! It’s nice to meet you,” Lincoln said to the room at large. He looked at Daisy and their fingers brushed momentarily. They jumped backwards from each other, blushing madly and looking anywhere but the other’s face.

Holt gasped. “Coulson, Peralta, Santiago, Boyle. My office. Now,” he said, not waiting for an answer before he strode into the room. The others looked at each other before shrugging and following him.

The door shut.

“Why did you take us in here?” Coulson asked.

Holt didn’t respond. He was staring out of the window at Lincoln and Daisy, and appeared to be distracted.

“Captain?” Amy prompted, which made Holt look at them again.

“Santiago,” he said, “those two young people are in love.”

**THE END**

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading!


End file.
